Gwinnett County Sexual Assault Survivor: Silence Is Not Consent

I didn’t say the word “no” in that room,

but I also never said “yes.”

That’s what his lawyer used against me in court.

I mean… could that really have cost me justice?

We’ve been conditioned to focus on whether or not the victim responded loudly enough to stop it, but not the behavior of the person who crossed the line. When will we, as a society, collectively take a stand against pedophiles and abusers?

I know I don't fit the mold of the perfect victim.

I’m a woman with curves and confidence,

with a presence that’s often misunderstood.

But I am still someone’s daughter, someone’s light,

a soul deserving of safety, dignity, and justice.

And because I didn’t scream, because I didn’t push him off or cause a scene, that silence is being treated as consent.

Let me be very clear, it wasn’t.

Silence is not a yes.

Freezing is not a yes.

Not reacting fast enough in a moment you never saw coming is not a yes.

But somehow, that’s what his lawyer used to discredit me, to let him walk out of that courtroom without being held accountable.

Prior to the hearing, I shook his lawyer’s hand, and I feel so disgusted with myself. Like I extended grace to someone whose entire job was to ruin me and minimize what happened to me, as if I wanted it. Like I gave dignity to a defense that never once offered it to me. And even though it was just a moment, it resonates in me—because in a room full of people protecting him, I was still expected to play nice. Don't be too dramatic. Don't be too emotional. Don't be too angry.

Well maybe I wasn't angry enough and now I have to live with that. Every day. Not just what he did, but what the system did to protect him.

How does someone live in a world like that?

How do you find peace knowing the people meant to protect you won’t even listen?

If I can’t call the authorities and trust them to investigate a crime committed against me, then what is the point of it all?

What am I supposed to believe in? What’s the point of laws, courtrooms, or justice systems if they only work for the people who already have power?

I know I made this blog to be encouraging, but it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel knowing the man who sexually assaulted me is still free, and still seeing patients.

What happened to me wasn’t just about one man. It exposed a system that protects power over people. I reported Dr. Alexander Steele for sexual assault, and Gwinnett County did nothing. No investigation. No accountability. No charges. When survivors speak up, we expect justice. But in Gwinnett County, Georgia, silence is the answer.